(This post was first published on Medium on February 23rd 2020)
Today is my birthday.
A gorgeous walk in the warmth of the strengthening February sun.
So much on my mind. So many things in the works that it was hard to know where to put my energies. Loads of good but divergent and in many different directions. On my walk I understood I needed to do a reading for myself.
The first card was not what I was expecting.
Ageratos.
Eternal. Unwavering. Staying the course. There is something in all these thoughts that related to the long-term. This immediately directed my attention away from the swirl and the immediacy and urgency of all the things on my mind.
Ageratos, what will always be. What is worth protecting or defending. What has real long term value, not just these passing demands. As a card of the Decad, this was more the substance than the form of immovability. This was legacy. Oddly, last night, Daniel and I had found out that our attorney had retired without telling us. It got us into a conversation about our wills and what might happen to our estate when we die. It was obvious we would have to update the executors of our wills as I had not seen one or them for several years and was a little out of touch with us these days. Also we talked about the stewardship of DeJoux House which was not a consideration when we wrote our wills but now that was very much something we wanted to consider. Without children to leave our historic home to, we talked of other plans to protect its future.
But this felt too material for the Ageratos. There might be an aspect of legacy in some of what was going around in my head but it was not so practical. A friend of mine and artist Raghava KK once did a talk about his 200 year plan https://www.ted.com/talks/raghava_kk_what_s_your_200_year_plan?language=en. This card was reminding me of that. A future that is worthy of my attention. Something significant and meaningful. — these were the two symbols of the card. The combination of Diamonds and Shields. Not short-term but long term. What’s the big legacy. What am I personally (Anthropos) brining to the future with my life… my existence? This was clearly the subject under question…and a good question at that — One I was indeed unclear of.
The next card, defines the thing I should look within myself for. The card that was turned up is Soter — The savior.
Now the savior is the card of taking you from one place to another. The redeemer. In this position, this card is recognizing the power you have within you to leap onto a new path. You have the power to be your own savior, achieve your own salvation. This is a strong powerful card. This is one of the ‘treasury of light’ cards so my inner strength to extract myself out of any situation that was uncomfortable was there. Now, the question was, what was I experiencing that was uncomfortable? I’m lucky to be able to say that I have never been more happy with my home and work life. The balance of these things felt good. Maybe the thing that was at the back of my mind bothering me, that was being drowned out by the urgent demands on my time was what all of this was in service of. My work with Acumen was incredibly rewarding, I was loving the experience of putting an important manifesto for a different center to our business and social economies. Reformulating our economies so that they revolved around humanity and the planet rather than self-interest, profit and institutions. What more important legacy could there be than helping seed those thoughts in the world? But the cards were suggesting there was. Something else within me, not within Jacqueline, Acumen’s CEO who I was helping with this task. What’s my manifesto. Where would I have to jump to if I was to achieve for myself what I am helping to achieve for Acumen? Maybe that, if anything was the discomfort. That once again, I find myself creating and building the ideas of others while my own ideas sit idly on the sidelines. This after all, was one of the main reasons I left the advertising agency world, always serving the ideas of others. Never bringing the ideas within me to manifestation. That was why the seed of Nockwood was fertilized and born over the last few years. That’s the lineage of the AEON cards. Born to solve for my desire to create and bring forth my own ideas. It’s interesting that this Savior card brings all these things to mind. My cards were what I gave birth to and in many ways the other distractions of work and immediate demands on my time are getting in the way of their continued development. If there were a legacy I should be proud of in the next 200 years it would not perhaps be the work I’m doing at Acumen, for this is Jacqueline’s creation, instead it should be a creation of my own.
The next card determines how I should move forward. What actions and steps should I take?
Nebruel — the creator of chaos.
This is the card of the forces of the universe that disrupt us. Entropy might be part of it but Nebruel (also known as Yaldabaoth or Samel/Samekh)his also the demon of “what can go wrong will go wrong”.
In this position, there’s a suggestion that no amount of planning or organization will determine this legacy. While other cards might have implied that I should exert energy and put plans in place, this card suggests the opposite, that no matter what planning I do the destiny of the cards and my creation is really in the hands of fate. Serendipity and logical or material efforts will do nought to achieve them. Leaving their impact to fate or destiny is perhaps the best I can do now that the cards have been created, manufactured and will soon be released to the world to do with them what they will. An alternative interpretation might be to consider unconventional and somewhat anarchistic approaches to sharing and distributing the AEON cards. But in reality, I have no control over how much or little these cards will resonate with people and therefore the advice from the cards seems to be to let nature and the universe take its course. It’s really out of your control.
The final card of the reading is the final outcome.
Metricos
Well given the thoughts and writing about, this card falls naturally into place. The final outcome here is that I have already given birth to something. Created something — the miracle of new life. Like a mother I am dedicated for the rest of my life to the nurturing and development of this new thing. But, at the end of the day, like all mothers I have to be willing to let it go. Give it freedom and let it live in the world on its own steam. I’ll always be there for it. Success or failure.
What I realize from this reading is that I have to make sure that my own creations do not lose my attention and that I continue to nurture them for they are my true legacy, not the things I do for others. While it might be my training to over engineer the announcement and launch of this baby into the world, at the end of the day, what happens to these cards is out of immediate control. I must direct all my energies in their favor and try to put them in the right environments where they might grow, but beyond that, their future is out of my hands. I am both parents but it is the mother’s love. The mother’s nurturing, the mothers hopes and a mothers rabid protections that will be most likely to impact whether they are still a thing in 200 years time.
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